Disclaimer: I am using images from photo sessions randomly, not specifically from sessions where a client was hesitant to shoot.
I hear this all the time, either before a client books me, or before their booked session:
“My child/spouse/family member HATES getting their photo taken!”
I thought I’d discuss that a bit as I think it causes a lot of people to hesitate before booking photos, and as a family photographer, my ultimate goal is to have clients getting priceless photos regularly, since I believe in the value of these things.
First of all, I am not the least bit intimidated by a client who hates sessions. More often than not, somebody in the crew doesn’t like it.
Secondly, that’s OKAY. Nobody is going to judge anyone for being uncomfortable and wishing they were doing something else. I want to put that out there. I am not a photographer who will cajole, tease, lecture, or guilt anyone. Why? Because people are entitled to have likes and dislikes. I’m not personally offended by people disliking having their photo taken. I don’t even like it that much myself!
So you can rest assured I’m not going to launch into a lecture to your spouse about WHY they should get precious memories recorded, blah blah blah. I’m a photographer - other people are not. I totally understand why people aren’t as excited about it as I am. That’s okay!
Every year I have numerous people emerge from vehicles with tension in their shoulders, a grimace on their faces, wearing uncomfortable shoes and wondering when this will all be over. I want to validate that. It’s valid. It’s okay.
I want to tell you a few things about how I run sessions in order to maximize the time we spend together.
I’ve been doing this a long time. I don’t need an entire hour of your time unless that’s what you want. I am good at what I do. I can be quick.
I am a relaxed photographer. I am not pose-y. More often than not, your family will be asked to loosely congregate and be close. I will not shout out “PUT YOUR LEFT ARM HERE AND MOVE YOUR CHIN TEN DEGREES TO THE LEFT”. I’m not a Sears studio.
I take a LOT of breaks. They are short, because I don’t want to drag the session on forever, but kids are kids. Letting them run for sixty seconds is fine. If someone needs a hug, it’s fine. If a baby needs a snack, no problem. If we are shooting for 40 minutes, I promise it is not 40 solid minutes of cheek-aching smiles.
I do not require people to do things they are uncomfortable doing. I do prefer to have people close and touching. I understand there are all kinds of people in the world. Some of them are uncomfortable with the things I ask. So I ASK. I don’t force. I can still remember one child telling me “I don’t smile like that” when I asked if I could see their teeth. I was so impressed!
I try very hard to never make people feel bad. I will not comment negatively on clothing choices, posture, awkwardness, discomfort. I will not tease or make fun of people, ever. I don’t do it. I’m not there to convert people. I’m there to record your family.
I am an introvert but I like to think I’m a somewhat interesting person, and I LOVE talking to kids especially. I promise that I will do everything I can to create a relaxed atmosphere that is more like hanging out together than working.
I am not discouraged by active kids. Kids making silly faces or running around or acting wild? Right up my alley, because they are KIDS. They are acting like kids! Go for it! If you think your child is too wild for photos, try me. :)
I’m not embarrassed by making silly noises or singing songs (warning: I’m not a good singer) to get kids’ attention. I’m also not watching the clock, ready to shut everything down the second we reach our 30-minute limit. If a child needs time to warm up to me? No problem.
I will take any and all suggestions. If you have a child who is very shy and doesn’t like being spoken to directly, let me know and I’ll be sure to honour that. If you know your child will take some time to open up to me, let’s start 10 minutes early so I can sit on the grass and let them come to me. If your spouse is concerned about any aspect of this, tell me and I’ll help you figure out how to make it work. If your child has special needs, just let me know and we will work together with our respective expertise to make things go as smoothly as possible.
Finally, a few times a year a client will say “please tell me that wasn’t the worst experience you’ve had with a family”. I’m going to let you in on a little secret: clients ALWAYS view their session far more harshly than I do. Folks, I’ve seen and experienced pretty much everything when it comes to photography. And I have children of my own who have given me challenges during sessions. I PROMISE I am not judging you if your child has a tantrum or is uncooperative or says something rude. I promise. I am not going to judge your spouse for being uncomfortable and stiff. I’ve had all kinds of people and I respect that every single session is going to be a little bit different.
I hope this article helps you to understand my perspective on client sessions where somebody is uncomfortable or uncooperative, and that I welcome all sorts of sessions. I hope it helps you to relax and understand that sometimes, sessions just have to stop and pause for a bit. I hope you know that I have my own children and know that there are times when kids aren’t at their best. I hope it eases some of your fears that your own family’s challenges will be judged. And I hope you’ll book a session, get in the frame, and let me handle whatever is thrown my way. :)
Cheers,
Joni
